after listening to a past life regression hypnosis I found on Youtube (for the fourth time)

In all of my past lives I am a horrible cook

but a wonderful dancer.

In all of my past lives there is never enough money

but always someone to blame.

In all of my past lives there is a child

but they do not survive.

I know this because I’ve hypnotized myself

and see this every time.

There is the one I left in a saloon

after spending too many moons crying

over the soil of his mother’s grave.

There is the one I lost in a freezing lake

after I fell in, trying to save a horse,

and then saw her future ghost.

There is the one I left wrapped in a blanket of animal skin

after singing her to sleep

and returned to find all of the teepees burned.

In all of my past lives there is a child

who does not survive.

I know this and yet still I try

every time

to find their eyes, open and alive

their hands, reaching for mine

every time

hoping they’ll hold on and tell me:

In this one, we both survive.