<\/p>\n
Before procedural memory, before
\nthe episodic set us in a narrative of
\nlinear time, old as sensation it comes:
\na memory, if we can call it that,<\/p>\n
of being held. I call it, \u201cinside-outside,\u201d a dual
\nfeeling of cool air on the face, in the nose,
\nand simultaneously the heat of being
\nwrapped in a body, a blanket, an arm.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s more emotional tenor than temperature,
\na little shelter while set firmly in the world.
\nForgive me the illusion when I say, I remember.
\nIn that rush of onomatopoeia, I remember<\/p>\n
on the river bank my grandmother
\nheld my new body near and high
\nabove the water, let that language move
\nthrough me as her hips dipped. Movement too,<\/p>\n
is a lexicon, an ancient way of speaking.
\nThe South Fork of the Payette
\nundulated through the land as one clear throat,
\nbody passage of food and voice.<\/p>\n
The ancestor came to me in that stagnant year
\nwhen fractured time curled in on itself,
\nlatches on all the doors busted, the trail
\ndisappearing into leaf litter and mist.<\/p>\n
In my dream, she puts my body back
\nwhere the sound of river flows,
\ngift of somatic imprint, a rough
\ntranslation of what Spirit does:<\/p>\n
Wielding the erotic, that yearning energy
\nof enlivenment, we are brought back to life
\njust as we came, wet and glistening, all want
\nand desire, needing touch and tit in equal measure.<\/p>\n
Remember your aliveness, she says,\u00a0<\/em> the howl you made,<\/em> We loop like this, lace of memory <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Before procedural memory, before the episodic set us in a narrative of linear time, old as sensation it comes: a memory, if we can call it that, of being held. I call it, \u201cinside-outside,\u201d a dual feeling of cool air on the face, in the nose, and simultaneously the heat of being wrapped in…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":355,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"issue":[289],"coauthors":[313],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\nthe way you were blown through\u00a0<\/em>
\nwith those first gasps of air, the lungs<\/em>
\nopening, the heart valve closing,\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n
\nwhich startled you, being\u00a0<\/em>
\na creature who could make\u00a0<\/em>
\na sound like that.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n
\nsewn into sinew and soil,
\npatterning us as much with touch
\nand tone as with the unforgiving mind.<\/p>\n