{"id":1669,"date":"2023-11-16T19:50:51","date_gmt":"2023-11-17T00:50:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pensivejournal.com\/?p=1669"},"modified":"2023-11-16T19:50:51","modified_gmt":"2023-11-17T00:50:51","slug":"astavakra-was-born-crooked-for-laughing-in-the-womb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pensivejournal.com\/poetry\/astavakra-was-born-crooked-for-laughing-in-the-womb\/","title":{"rendered":"Astavakra was born crooked for laughing in the womb"},"content":{"rendered":"

I slept on the top bunk<\/span><\/p>\n

Caleb slept on the bottom bunk<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

For the best of his years, or what could have been,<\/span><\/p>\n

Eric slept on the leftover space on the floor<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

of that closet-sized room that brother brother<\/span><\/p>\n

and sister shared.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Caleb rode his bicycle over my forehead, once. It was<\/span><\/p>\n

an accident<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

but there was the swelling, and at school it drew<\/span><\/p>\n

attention that I still can\u2019t erase.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once, I fell asleep on Eric\u2019s blankets<\/span><\/p>\n

so in the morning I found him<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

sleeping under a beach towel instead.<\/span><\/p>\n

I pretended not to care. Not to notice.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And so does he.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was like this that we three saw<\/span><\/p>\n

and made each other bleed:<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Giggling in church<\/span><\/p>\n

and at Grandma\u2019s funeral<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

throwing cold dishwater<\/span><\/p>\n

at each other\u2019 bare shoulders<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

and sometimes hot irritation.<\/span><\/p>\n

Singing the shower and in the car, little wolf<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

cubs crying for duet<\/span><\/p>\n

through the closed door; we<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

teased our parents, carefully, predictably,<\/span><\/p>\n

laughing, too, when they rearranged<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

the kitchen or our beliefs.<\/span><\/p>\n

Could we call it a violence<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

that we laughed<\/span><\/p>\n

laughed<\/span><\/p>\n

and laughed<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That we grew<\/span><\/p>\n

our capacities to hurt and leave and forget<\/span><\/p>\n

and choose otherwises and elsewheres<\/span><\/p>\n

more and more so in the wake of each year?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The violence<\/span><\/p>\n

that there is still a kind of sister I have been<\/span><\/p>\n

Meaning to be.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I slept on the top bunk Caleb slept on the bottom bunk   For the best of his years, or what could have been, Eric slept on the leftover space on the floor   of that closet-sized room that brother brother and sister shared.   Caleb rode his bicycle over my forehead, once. It was…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":393,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"issue":[289],"coauthors":[362],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nAstavakra was born crooked for laughing in the womb | Pensive Journal<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/pensivejournal.com\/poetry\/astavakra-was-born-crooked-for-laughing-in-the-womb\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Astavakra was born crooked for laughing in the womb | Pensive Journal\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I slept on the top bunk Caleb slept on the bottom bunk   For the best of his years, or what could have been, Eric slept on the leftover space on the floor   of that closet-sized room that brother brother and sister shared.   Caleb rode his bicycle over my forehead, once. 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